so to speak, some major social difficulties . It was one of the things that I saw, that my son did not play. In communication, in language, my son talked and stopped talking. Now I know it’s a reason to run away to seek professional help, but beyond all that, when we meet a person with autism or they tell us that a person we love has autism, that person remains. If we try to focus on the person instead of the diagnosis, it will be easier to understand.
There is a myth linked to that they are little geniuses that is something to eradicate. They can be geniuses, just like someone who does not have autism, but they do not have to be geniuses. And, then, there are many very basic myths. People believe, on my plane, that they are more affected children, that they will not look you in the eye, and it is not true. My son, for example, looks you perfectly in the eyes. He has a social smile. They ask you: “Can you touch him?” Yes, of course, there is nothing that you like more in life, as I call it, the “cachorreo”, that you play with it at ticklish … It is true that there are many false myths and many are linked from what has been told in movies and television series. And regarding those types of myths, I believe that people with Asperger still have much more to fight.
With the diagnosis of autism , we enter into a very complicated process of assimilation , of trying to find out how to react to what they have given you in the best way for your child. We do not have much help, we feel very orphaned on the part of the whole world, on the part of the doctors, on the part of the professionals of psychology. Many times they give us these diagnoses and then they can not give us more, take us by the hand in another direction.
There are parents who fight with the pediatricians to get the diagnosis.
Others do not have to fight so much and they give it to him right away. I think it has improved a lot, my son is going to do 12 years now. In ten years, each time the pediatricians, the primary care services are more trained, locate and diagnose before. But we have an important pending issue with what is done next . I felt very orphaned, and that is the perception that I receive from all the families that are diagnosed with autism. “Okay, we have been told that our son has autism. And now that? What school do I choose? What professional will help me to try to take out all that potential that he has inside? Where do I go? I’m lost in a lot of interventions. What do I do? “
In autism there is nothing visible . You are walking down the street with a child in a wheelchair, who clearly has Down syndrome or some other visible disorder, who has a phenotype, has certain traits, and people excuse him more. If the child has a disruptive behavior, they say: “The thing happens to the child, clearly.” But when you go with a child with autism, and also is probably the most frequent disorder that people can cross, it does not show. If you see my son walking my hand down the street, he is a handsome, normal blond boy who apparently has nothing.
If the behavior you have at that moment is what people think is wrong, right away. And they do not stop to think that maybe they are judging, that judging is very fast and very easy, but it is not always the most successful and maybe that child is going through something that is not visible and that they do not know, that the parents are in that moment trying to manage as best they can and should, and that the most they can do is shut up or give the right and necessary support without going into more assessments and much less criticism, expulsion from sites and so on, which also happens.
Learn more about Melisa Tuya
Biography l Journalist and writer, Melisa Tuya is the mother of a child with autism . Author of the book “Having a child with autism”, in which they try to put an end to the false myths that are still associated with this syndrome. In this talk, the journalist tries to get the person behind the diagnosis of autism to be seen. ogo and Master in Clinical and Health Psychology. Co-author of the book “Children of Happy Parents” and protagonist in the video blog “Psychology Pills”, offers recipes about education, warning of problems such as education in blind obedience, instead of advocating critical thinking and autonomy of children. Faqs What happens with the schooling of an autistic child?
Schooling really is a part that for many families is a horror, a nightmare and a headache. So clear. In the first place, many times the diagnosis comes to you when you have to make the decision of which school to put the child in. Because it reaches you around two or three years. Or it comes a little later, in children, but also affects that decision to change.
The number of schools within your reach is greatly reduced when you have a child with special needs. And then there is the inclusion debate or the specific or the special one. I am an advocate of inclusion. I think that is what we should aspire to, I think that is the objective. Because it is what every person has a right to. I would like my son to go to the same school as my daughter. Not only because of a matter of family intendancy, that too, but it would be ideal. But that ideal is very far from reaching it. The real inclusion is not happening in any case. Alone, from what I’ve seen, with the children that are going better curricularly.
My experience is that most children in children enter inclusive centers.
That is, in ordinary centers. With different types of supports and others, but they all go in there. Almost every. And then, as they add courses and the curricular requirement increases, if that child is not able to give an answer to that, those children go off-hook, they fall to the special, which is where there are smaller ratios, maybe they are four or five children per class alone, more prepared professionals … And almost all of them finish there, very few arrive at the institute. Those who are at the top of the spectrum arrive and have managed it better. That is not a true inclusion. No resources are allocated. With this, being a defender of inclusion, I am also a realist and my son, from the third year of childhood, goes to a specific center, which is a center where the children inside have autism and nothing else, no other type of disability. On the public road, we were offered a special center, which are centers in which there are children with different types of disabilities.